Magical Dragon of Chinese Medicine

Posted by tthu on February 23rd, 2010 filed in Matthew

Yesterday I went to see a doctor of Traditional Chinese Medicine to see if they could offer any hope for my asthma. After having all the tests done in Korea and seeing a specialist there, the bottom line for Western medicine was that the symptoms (coughing) could be suppressed, but that was it. So I bought enough pulmicort to last me about 4 years before coming to China.

From China – Living

A Korean friend of ours who has much better Chinese skills that either Cathryn or I spent a few hours searching the Internet for the best hospital in Kunming for asthma and discovered the hospital in the photo above. On Monday when he had finished teaching his Korean class we all jumped into a taxi and arrived at the hospital about 20 mins later.

From China – Living

I think this is the doctor that we saw. The way this hospital works is that you arrive and pay a “registration” fee. This fee varies depending on the fame/quality of the doctor you’re going to see (Or as I like to think of it, how many times the doctor has leveled up). From memory the pricing was 5, 7, 10, 15, 20 or 30 RMB (80c, $1, $1.60, $2.40, $3.20 or $4.80 AUD). Cheap even if you’re visiting a level 6 doctor with +10 to curing cancer! The asthma specialist our friend had found was only a level 3 doctor, so we handed over our 10RMB and joined the queue to see him.

From China – Living

On the way into the building itself, we were greeted by this little guy. I’m not sure if I was supposed to rub his head or something to get the magic, but it was definitely amusing.

2 Hours and a cup of coffee (more on this further down) later it was finally our turn. While waiting, Cathryn and I had explained all my history and symptoms to our Korean friend who explained it in Chinese/Korean to one of his students who had come along with us. She explained my family history and my personal history of asthma, the symptoms I have and the medicine I was taking for it. The doctor and his two nurses then spent a good minute feeling the pulse on my wrist and muttering in Chinese. Then they asked me if I ever had any problems when I went to the toilet.

Apparently feeling my pulse and asking me about my poo was enough for him as he pronounced that my problem was curable. In fact, the translation coming through to me was that asthma is easily curable, it just takes a bit of time – about 6 to 12 months of taking the medicine. The nurse proceeded to write out a page full of Chinese characters and numbers, the doctor signed it and we were out the door. Next stop, the pharmacy!

We paid at the counter for 4 days worth of “medicine”* as a test run. Then the student took the “prescription”** to the “pharmacist”*** to have it “filled”****. Meanwhile I wandered around the “pharmacy”*****.

*AKA sticks, bark and fungus
**List of sticks, herbs and droppings
***Possibly also qualified as a park ranger or bush-tucker-man
****Gathered from the forest and put into bags
*****AKA little shop of horrors.

From China – Living

Here is a photo of the medicine that I’ll be taking for the next 6 to 12 months. As you can see, it looks like someone walked into a forest, grabbed a handful of whatever was found under the nearest tree and put it in a paper bag. For all I know the characters on the prescription could have been a set of directions – walk 50 paces east to the big tree, then 100 paces north to the spring, 30 paces north-west and grab whatever you find under the red rock!

Thankfully I don’t have to just scoff down the sticks and stuff. No, instead I have to boil it for 20 minutes and drink the forest-sludge at the end of it. Each bag of sticks and grubs can be boiled 4 times before being thrown out. Having had it three times already, I really can’t even begin to describe how horrible the taste is. So far it’s a close run thing as to wether just living with asthma might not be better!

Anyway, while the bags were being filled, I walked around the “pharmacy” and admired all the different “medicines” available. Some of the highlights were deer antlers and various sizes of dried sea horses. But the thing that really took the cake for me was the most expensive item I could find. (Skip this if you have a weak stomach, or cried when Bambi died).

From China – Living

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you, for the bargain price of 700RMB a dried deer womb complete with deer foetus inside. I have NO IDEA AT ALL what the health benefits of this are, but apparently it’s quite valuable.

All joking aside, the medicine is some of the worst tasting, foul smelling, grossest stuff I’ve ever consumed, the maggot and the spider in Cambodia were like chocolate compared to this. However I will be sticking with it in the hope of getting well.

As I said before, while we were waiting for the doctor, Cathryn went out and bought coffee for everyone as it was taking a looooooong time to see the doc.

From China – Food

She returned with probably the most expensive coffee we’ll ever buy in China from a nearby establishment called Charlie Brown Cafe. I was impressed when I saw the bag you got for take-away coffee and with the cups that the coffee came in.

From China – Food

But I was blown away when I took the lid off to add some sugar.